


I'm Not Gay

by Late_to_the_party_2



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-05 10:30:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15861822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Late_to_the_party_2/pseuds/Late_to_the_party_2
Summary: The bizarre female erasure, ageism, single-shaming, and oh yeah representing millenials as making a living wage or rich as fuck (have you seen Kara's apartment?) when everyone knows we're dirt poor.... so many ways  the show has shocked me.Before the show aired there was a rumor that Kara would be aromantic-asexual  and an alien wanting nothing to do romantically with another species made sense. So that's chap 1The title for this came from the "I'm Not Gay" fan vid on youtube "Supergirl Crack". That thing cracks me up. This will be thoughts, one-shots etc. Just a place to throw some ideas around and possibly put into Dear Supergirl.Chap 2 is...ageism thoughts and other random stuff





	1. Chapter 1

"So, you wanna hang out tonight?"  
Kara looked askance at him trying not to wince, not show any negative reaction. It was always so hard to avoid it.

"Uh..., I can't."

"Why?"

"I...have a date!" She smiled. It was true. She did have a date. With her cat, a box of chocolate-chocolate chip ice cream, a bottle of rum (yum!) and her favorite Taylor Swift album. Others would say that was sad, but with her sensory overload from working all day, coming home to her mostly empty and (um hth could she afford that huge apartment with close to no salary and no roommate??? Okay just wanted to point that out!) quiet apartment was heaven on this loud Earth. Where there were no expectations, and her empty bed welcomed her like it was a party. Solitude was Kara Danvers idea of happiness.

"Oh! That's," he grimaced trying to lie, "great!" he finally added.

Kara grit her teeth in something she hoped looked like a smile. "Yeah."

Leave, please Rao, leave. Go away. And then leave me alone!

"With who?"

Kara hadn't expected that. "I didn't know this was elementary school, or...that you were one of my parents." She tried to smile and act like what she said was a joke.

After a few beats, Winn smiled and laughed too.

This is so awkward. Why do I keep working here? I should just quit! Quit so I can be away from him!

The current tally was 8 jobs and 5 apartments. All of which she'd left because of sexual interest, or really, any interest, from human males. Kara learned finally that any interest by a human male was never ever just platonic. A big plus for her current job (even though she was again thinking of quitting because Winn would not stop asking her out/saying he wanted to hang out) was that her super successful boss applauded her for being single and not being 'a flighty romantic mess that most women are.'

"You can really go somewhere with your sense of self, Kira." She'd told her. If nothing else, you know your worth. You're not settling."

"Relationships and kids only hinder a person. And of course there are all those studies proving that relationships and kids make people miserable."

Kara wasn't sure if Ms. Grant said this to her because she felt sorry that she wasn't in a relationship, or if she truly believed it, but she'd guess it was the latter.

"It's not for nothing the first person investigated in a murder is the significant other." Kara had learned to say this as a joke because it often helped to diffuse different relationship related questions or topics.

"Guys can't be friends with a girl or woman without it eventually turning into love. Or really, just sex. They just want sex, Kara." Alex's words replayed in her mind.

They were violent animals. Kara's impression of the male human species hadn't changed much from when she'd first arrived on Earth. Her adoptive father, well she'd only been living with his family a few months before he'd been taken away. He'd been nice. But the only human males she'd seen with a consistent non-violent non-mating obsessed nature were on the television show Mister Rogers, which Eliza had insisted she watch every day to help her accumulate to Earth, and...well that might be it. And in Kara's opinion, more people of Earth, especially the males needed to watch that show.

The violence and humiliation and abuse that she saw daily made her sick. She begged Eliza to let her stay home from school, but Eliza always refused telling her, lying to her, that it would get better that she'd "get used to it".

"I don't want to get used to it!" She insisted. "This isn't normal behavior! They aren't safe!"

"They'll grow out of it, they're just boys." Eliza smiled.

Kara'd turned on CNN, and pointed at the screen as bombs were exploding over the middle-east.

"Really?"

Eliza'd backed away slightly. "Bad example."

"No, it's not. These violent abusive boys I go to school with will grow up to be violent and abusive men! What in the world makes you think their behavior will change? Or is it just that you've forced yourself to accept that physical maturation equals positive mental and behavioral change, because that illusion is better than reality?"

She hadn't been wrong then. Nothing Kara had seen changed that.

"Get her to hang out with your girlfriends," she'd heard Eliza telling Alex one night. "Maybe help her volunteer at the animal shelter! That way she'd be around people who aren't violent and want to help others."

She'd liked the work at the animal shelter. Until she saw all the abused animals that were rescued. The actively abused animals always were abused by men. Some of the neglected animals that were turned over were from women- but poor elderly women who wanted and loved their animals but were simply too physically unwell to care for themselves, let alone a helpless animal.

Every day for a week Kara pointed to every person in their classes that was being violent. Out of a class of 20 boys, 15 committed active violence, or emotional abuse towards another person- all in the five minutes before class began. It was the same with every other class, and even worse during gym.

"That's a total of 290 boys I see in a day, and each day of that 290, I personally witnessed 235 being violent. I suspect the number is lower at lunch than the other totals of 95% indicate only because the males were feeding."

This bothered Eliza greatly. But Kara and Alex not at all. Neither one dated, and neither was unhappy about it. They were both much happier solo or in the company of female friends then dating a teenage boy, taking the risk of being gossiped about as the boy spread false rumors at best, or physically raped at worst.

She took great joy in pointing out her data at the end of each school day to Eliza, with results that varied only slightly. Finally at dinner Friday night Eliza sighed, put a hand to her head and asked,

"What about the teachers at school?"

"What?"

"The male teachers at your school," she smiled happy to have come up with this. "Are they violent?"

Kara thought about this. "The gym teacher is," she answered, "but the other male teachers...no. But, they'd be arrested if they treated the kids the way the male students treat the kids."

"She has a point," Alex nodded in agreement with Kara, through a mouthful of potatoes.

Eliza sighed again and looked to her right for support.

Both girls winced at Eliza's crestfallen momentary shock. She'd looked reflexively to her husband for support on this matter, only to be reminded once again that he was gone.

Because of Kara.

No.

Because that angry man was afraid of a little girl. Men = Bad. She hadn't seen the man that took him away, but she'd heard him. Or heard enough to know that it was a him.

Kara watched Winn walk away. She liked him. He seemed nice and gentle...but the idea of being involved with him in a sexual manner made her want to vomit. Not just him, anyone.

She'd had no interest in the boys on Krypton either, but at least they weren't at all like the boys on Earth. Not to mention Earth had a very different view of family and love than on Krypton.

The idea of giving up all your friends to spend time with just one person?

She'd made wonderful and needed friends on this planet, only to never hear from them again once they got into a relationship or got married. Then she only heard from them when they broke up. That's not how friends or family worked on Krypton. You never excluded the people you loved in your life, and there was no huge line dividing love,either. You loved your friends. You loved your family. You loved your mate. You would drop everything to help any one of them. But having a mate or a family did not mean you stopped seeing or speaking to your friends. Here those people mattered much less to humans than Kryptonians.

Humans would not drop everything, or anything, to help a friend, especially if they had a mate or children; but they would drop everything to help a family member. "Call me if you need anything!" "You can always depend on me!" "Blood doesn't mean family, you choose your family!"

But if this 'non-family' called and really needed help? "Oh, I'm so sorry! But I can't help you right now I have to (and always was mentioned an activity or non-life threatening situation of blood family or mate). Kara had learned these were things that would be said but never done.

Learning this the hard way, and over and over again had made Kara feel more alone and abandoned than when her cousin had just ditched her ass on Earth and flew away. ( ha ha had to get that in there)

Until Kara could find some female friends who felt the same way about relationships that she did, she decided not to be friends with anyone. It was better to have no one than to keep being dropped by people who assured her they'd 'always be there' for her, 'just like family', and then be left by the wayside over and over again. This would never happen on Krypton.

Kara sat down at her desk, happy that her lie had worked, for now.

Maybe I should just tell him I'm gay? She'd tried it before. It never went well. Men saw it as a rejection, an insult- she'd learned not to do that, too.

Would being gay be better than the truth? Probably not. Gay was something that was understood at least. But the word she'd learned for how she felt, or the series of words... made her even more of an alien on this planet than being an actual alien.


	2. 2

The non-chapter chapter.

Thing #2?

Women having an expiration date. & "Ten years ago you were 19?"- Winn.

What?

They rarely allow female characters to be over 30. As if you hit 30, you're dead. Proof? Noticed this doing some research. All these great actresses who are surprisingly 30 or over, yet their characters are in their mid-20's. Male actors rarely have this issue, because their...what? Sexuality? Desireableness? Humanness? Intellect? isn't given this arbitrary expiration date. Older men are distinguished. Older women are just...old. And that's wrong. I know it's been that way probably forever, but we as a people need to stop this crap. It's misogyny.

Remember the "you were 19 ten years ago?" comment Winn made to Alex? It was a joke. Because Ms. Leigh is closer to 40 than she is to 30. And when the original idea was to make Kara 34/35, and thus Alex 37, now she'd be 39, so the joke that 10 years ago you were 19 makes sense. Because it's a joke that Alex would be lying about her age that's she's 29 not 39. But for the actress herself, that is massive undue pressure, as well as contributing to this sick problem that women can't just be themselves. They have to be prettier, younger, anything other than themselves. Keep them insecure and you'll keep them from power.

Having actresses play characters that are younger than their actual age puts a very undue pressure (and sometimes contractual obligation meaning you get fired if you break contract ie don't look young anymore) on the actress to look younger than she is. With all the other pressures that actresses face in the industry having to look young for their own age is a difficult pressure- but having to look a lot younger than your age is a whole other issue, but young for someone else's age ie you're 35 and expected to play a 25 year old. It's not right.

Why do you think the makeup industry is such a big deal? Create the insecurity to begin with, then magically have the solution and to amp it up- if you don't use this magic solution there is something wrong with you to the point you'll be openly discriminated against. If you don't wear makeup you're seen as 'not caring' about yourself, or even not professional. Whereas if boys and men don't wear makeup to work, no one bats an eye. No one expects men to have to alter their physical appearance in order to be socially acceptable or maintain a job. With women it's nearly 100 years of internalized misogyny. A false need created so long ago that we've forgotten that it's not a need. It's an illusion created and maintained by an entire industry that rose up to profit by creating insecurity. Makeup, expensive clothes, purses, high heels...

I've done a ton of reading watched so many old tv shows, movies, books and magazines. Magazines didn't used to have makeup advertisements, or clothing ads. Here's something else. Notice all the girls' magazines? Notice boys don't have the same? And what is in those girls' magazines? Mostly stories about how to change your appearance, and find a man. Really, in 2018? That's what girls should be focused on? And in between these stories are "stories" about fashion and makeup ie they are advertisements. When a magazine features a photo of a dress or pair of shoes very often they are being paid to do so, and may or may not tell you that they are. Either way it's advertising. Why not focus on things that matter like, omg literally anything. Wars going on in the world. Poverty. Media corruption. What do they have to gain by keeping young girls focused on superficial crap? Probably a lot. And...most of these magazines were started, edited and written by men- with women's names. So it was men telling young girls what they think they should want, and be. So they should want to find a man and have children. So they should want to be attractive and only focus on creating qualities that men find attractive. And so you see 'articles' on how to be more feminine how to catch a man quizzes on what's your boyfriend type? What's your makeup IQ?

Same in movies. Just imagining what girls and women talk about when they're alone, or telling them what they should be talking about, influencing them. They should be talking about boys and clothes. Because godforbid they talk about real problems in society or something like that? And yes, repression of youth rebellion and protesting plays a role too for both sexes. If you convinvce them they should only be talking about dating they're not as likely to talk about the war their government is starting etc, or how they're going to dodge the draft. I could go on about the intentional influence of the media on girls and women, but it's like the layers of an onion.

Here's what this 'chapter' was supposed to be about-

Originally I was thinking this when seeing the trailer that said, by the math, that Kara Danvers was 35/6? Only later did they change it and decide hey, no, she spent 14 years in the phantom zone. They could have made another choice, and I think they should have. It would be more interesting and reflective of US life of the struggling millenial.

And Kara had a crappy job. This was cool. Why? Because it reflects the realities of many many millenials, who are nearly 30 to nearly 40 unemployed/underemployed and unable to afford the basics that their own parents took for granted- including a college education and affordable healthcare.

I thought it would be cool to write about.

Except one problem when I tried to write about that...watch this-

So, Kara Danvers works at CatCo Magazine at age 35, which makes Alex 37?...and that changes the story line how? It doesn't. But it does help other millenials that are struggling to see even millenial supergirl struggling as well. Even she is unable to escape the vacuous pull of the United States greed?

I really can't think of anything else. Maybe that Kara being strong single and childfree and okay with it? As well as Alex? Struggling to support yourself in the US where a single trip to the doctor can bankrupt you? Now that's drama! Struggling to afford your own place on your own without relying on support of a roomate or boyfriend? Both cool.

I thought this was going to be a chapter about well what I said it was going to be about but...well here's what we'll do. Comment what you think about this issue. Any of them. Bouncing ideas around, like I said. Feel free to add your own.


End file.
